Tuesday, November 10, 2009

faith the size of a mustard seed

This morning I did something that three months ago, when I began my job search here in Savannah, I never thought I would do. I turned down a job offer. Even now, as I type it out, part of my brain is screaming at me to change my mind. This economy is rough and something is better than nothing, right?

I thought so for the longest time but then I got some very wise advice from my old sunday school teacher. After finding out I didn't get one of the jobs I interviewd for, she told me that God has a great opportunity planned for me and she is praying that I don't overlook it.

Those words really resonated with me and when I got the job offer yesterday they kept ringing in my head. The job was something that I enjoy and am good at, but in no way helps me build skills that will help me in my future career. It would have brought in a small paycheck that would have allowed us a bit of breathing room in our budget, but there was no real opportunity to leave if a better offer came along (at least not one I could feel good about).

When I took the time to really think and pray about the situation I felt convicted. It was as though God was calling me out for a lack of faith in him and his ability to provide for me. I had trusted him and thanked him when times were good but when I found myself back in times of difficulty I wanted to take back control instead of leaning on him. I wanted to hide in my comfort zone instead of allowing him the opportunity to push me forward.

My dad and I have talked a lot lately about having faith and trusting in God to give us what we need. It reminded me of a scripture we used to talk about in small group at church:

Matthew 17:20 - He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

That was the last little push I needed to make my decision.

As mentioned in the post below, I had an interview yesterday for a really great job. While I would be thrilled to be chosen, it is truly an amazing opportunity, I'm holidng onto my newly found little mustard seed of faith that no matter what, Steve and I will be provided for. It isn't easy surrendering control and trusting in a plan I can't see, but I have to believe that if he can keep me safe while my work group is being bullied by federales in Mexico then he can care for Steve and I in this economy.

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