Tuesday, May 25, 2010

one more week

It's been a bit crazy around here the last week or so. My mother in law had her surgery and it's really been even more motivation for me to make healthier choices. Steve and I visited her every day while she was in the hospital (a full week) and she's doing well. In this case, the surgery is the easy part and all of the changes to her life and daily routine are the challenging parts so it remains to be seen how successful everything will be. I have faith in her though. She has done so much research about this and is taking the whole thing very seriously. Her diabetes is already much more controlled than it was before!

Steve and I are getting ready to go on (a much needed) vacation as well so we're rushing around a bit this week trying to make sure everything is in place before we leave.

Fitness-wise, I've been a bit of a slacker lately. Hanging around the hospital isn't really conducive to exercise, but I've fit it in where I can and tried to focus on the intuitive eating more. I'm finding that it is much more challenging than most people think it would be. Maybe it's just because I'm a beginner (the more I think about it, the more I think this is the case), but I have had some real struggles with the whole "stop when you are full" thing.

It sounds like it would be common sense. If you aren't hungry anymore, don't continue to eat. A very large part of me feels a little stupid for not being able to make that mental leap when it comes to my favorite foods. At work and in the morning or when I'm eating things I'm not really all that crazy about, I'm fine. Get me around pizza, pasta, french fries, ice cream, or Mexican food though and I just sort of stop listening to my body and go nuts.

I've got some theories as to what may be causing that and I'm coming up with strategies to overcome that compulsion, but it is clearly going to take some time. Lucky for me, I have time and a very supportive husband who is attempting to make healthier choices too.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

blisters and a book

I'm sorry for my lack of updating. Clearly, my blogging skills need a bit of work.

This week I have been buckling down and trying to follow my plan of working out and venturing into the world of intuitive eating. It's been going pretty well with a couple minor set backs, namely, the huge blisters on the back of my ankles from walking across campus in my incredibly cute but not made for walking peep toe wedges. Not a smart idea my friends.

While I waited for my battle scars to heal, I rearranged my schedule so that I was doing my strength workouts since I could do those in my apartment without needing to bother with shoes.

Today was my first run in two days. It was just as much of a workout as ever.... but I loved it. :) I love the runner's high.

Finally, the book I ordered on intuitive eating came in yesterday! I've only read the introduction and the first chapter, but the author's attitude and style are incredibly real and honest. I appreciate that. I'll be sure to give a full review once I finish.

Monday, May 10, 2010

strange days

Sometimes I really hate facebook.

It's true.

As much as I love being able to stay in touch with friends and see what they are up to, some days it's just too much for me. Some days it just seems to open up old wounds and rub salt in them. Some days it awakens the jealous part of me that I hate.

Today is one of those days. Today I am sitting in my tiny office on my lunch break feeling like a big fat ball of failure and desperately wanting to go home and wallow in self-pity.

Clearly, that isn't a realistic option. Instead, I'm going to take a few deep breaths, finish my goldfish crackers, and attempt to be productive until I leave at 5:00. When I get home, I'm going to put on my workout clothes, turn up my "I hate people" playlist and run until the negativity stops. I could be gone a while.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

getting serious

I promised myself in January that I would use this year to get healthy and back to a heathy weight. So far I've had a tiny bit of success (see weight loss ticker on the left) and completed a 5k, but I'm not satisfied with those results. I realized that if I really want to meet my weight loss goals and see myself fitting into the clothes I wore 2 years ago then I'm going to need to put in some serious effort.

This afternoon I made up a reward chart for myself. Every 5 pounds I lose gives me a little reward. As the amount of weight lost gets bigger, so does the reward. My first reward (the one for losing a total of 5 pounds from where I am now) is a subscription to Real Simple magazine. I made it the first reward because I love the magazine and because getting it in the mail each month will be a reminder of past success.

The other rewards are things like mani/pedis, shoes, and visits to places I enjoy. I made a conscious choice to NOT make my big rewards food related.

However, I have built in a weekly "treat" as a reward for working out at least 5 days each week. If I stay on track and work out at least 30 minutes, 5 days out of the week I will reward myself with my favorite breakfast from starbucks... chai tea latte with soy and a blueberry scone. This way I will be less tempted to indulge during the week and more likely to get my tush to the gym!

As a final reward for meeting my overall goal, I am going to get a makeover. Cut and color my hair, get a whole new outfit and then go out somewhere fun with Steve to celebrate. I've always wanted a makeover and I figured it would be fun to do it this way.

I'm hoping that by setting up this reward system I will be able to stay motivated.

To reach my goals, I plan to keep going with my running and do speed and incline intervals to keep up the intensity. I also plan to alternate between running days and what I call "strength days" where I'll use the weight machine in the gym (our apartment gym has a bowflex type machine rather than traditional machines) as well as exercises like pushups, crunches, squats and lunges.

Finally, in regard to my diet, I am going to attempt to make good choices and listen to my body. I'm currently learning about intuitive eating. Basically, you listen to your body and eat when you feel hungry, stop when you are full, and eat the foods that satisfy you. Hopefully this approach will lead to a more permanent lifestyle change and continued success.

The numbers:
starting weight (taken in January): 185 lbs.
current weight (taken Wednesday): 173lbs
GOAL weight: 135 lbs
starting dress size: 14
current dress size: between a 12 and a 14
GOAL dress size: 8

If I had a tape measure I'd do measurements, but I don't. So I'm going by dress size and the scale. :)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

easier said than done, Thoreau

One of my favorite quotes of all time is this one by Henry David Thoreau: "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams; live the life you've imagined."

I'm just now starting to realize that this quote isn't an easy one to live by... especially if you are a "what if" person like I am.

As Steve and I approach our 1st wedding anniversary we are also coming closer to the one year mark since our move to Savannah. This brings up all sorts of questions regarding future plans and what our next steps will be. Is my job going to be extended after the grant runs out? Should I look for a job in Savannah or Atlanta? Should we attempt to move in the next six months or stick it out for another year? Are we saving enough for the next transition?

It's easy to say "Go confidently in the direction fo your dreams", but finding that confidence to keep moving forward (which, if anyone was wondering, is the direction of our dreams) is really difficult some days. Sometimes moving forward in the direction of our dreams takes us through places that we never in a million years imagined we would ever be.

That's where I'm at right now. Someplace I honestly never thought I would be and trying to stay focused on the direction we're headed, towards the life we've imagined. If nothing else, I've got an incredibly loving and sweet traveling partner who helps encourage me through the difficult times.

Anyone else have a quote they try to live by?