This weekend was not the best. Yesterday being one of the most frustrating days spent away from work that I've experienced in a very long time. This weekend Steve and I got a chance to see exactly how much our lives, and those of our friends, have changed in the 18 months since we moved away. We got a chance to experience the change in those relationships that we have worked so hard to maintain at their initial awesomeness. The changes are not good in pretty much all but one case.
The worst part is that there is no one to blame. There is no "bad guy" in the situation at all no matter how much I want to place blame on someone. This is just what happens when people with different dreams and different lives make choices which move them toward acheiving those dreams. This is what happens when you choose to live your life. It's what happens when the bonds that secure your friendships aren't as strong as those that pull you toward your dreams.
It's sad. It's frustrating. Regardless, there is nobody really to blame and you have to choose whether to keep moving forward, or try and go back to salvage something of the past.
That's the most difficult part, determining if going back is even an option. Because sometimes no matter how incredible the past was, no part of it was meant to accompany you into the future. Sometimes you have to be grateful for what was and hope for something equally as good in the future.
In this case there is no going back, not now anyway. Steve and I have decided to just stick together through this transition and hope for the best in Atlanta in the new year. Thankfully I still have my twin and we have our families. Other than that it's just us moving together confidently in the direction of our dreams and toward the life we've imagined.