Let me preface this by saying, I am not going to allow the negative to overtake the positive. However, I'm also not going to ignore the negative completely because it's unhealthy and will only hinder my progress.
Today was my second C25K workout and it was HARD. It wasn't so much the physical difficulty (although, make no mistake, I was definitely pushing myself in that respect) but the mental aspect. For some reason I could not get my brain on board with the concept of working out. I got up and stretched and got my music going but I could not get myself in the right mindset.
When I did week1 day 1 on Saturday the music was awesome, I kept cheering myself on throughout and it was great. Today was the complete opposite of that. I kept trying to rationalize walking the rest of the 30 minutes or even stopping all together. I must have come up with a million excuses. Finally, I convinced myself that I would at least finish today's workout and evaluate how I felt about it afterwards.
After running and doing pushups (part of the 100 pushup challenge) I still felt like running sucks and my arms were tired and I didn't want to do it anymore. This sour mood followed me while I was getting cleaned up and into the kitchen for breakfast. Mad at myself, I reached for the cocoa puffs cereal. At that moment my mind screamed at me "running doesn't suck nearly as bad as living with diabetes would".
It was enough to shake me out of my funk and I am happy to report that I had a bowl of oatmeal instead of the cocoa puffs and I'm still planning on keeping my date with the treadmill Wednesday morning. True to my discovery the other day, it seems that my success with this attempt to get healthy depends on my desire to avoid diabetes and other chronic health problems more so than anything else.
I would also like to say a big thank you to the people I know who have done or are doing this program. It's awesome to read your blogs about the ups and downs of getting healthy and knowing I have such a great support system through this.
Song for the day: Defying Gravity - Glee cast