Tomorrow is the first day of the spring semester and my level of excitement can only be surpassed by my level of nervousness. Everyone I know has told me many times that I have nothing to be nervous about. Steve is practically blue in the face from telling me I have nothing to worry about.
And I do believe him... them... everyone. I believe that this is absolutely the right path for me and that tomorrow, sitting in that classroom, is exactly where I need to be. Hence the excitement.
Still, the fact remains that I ran away from this exact scenario four years ago because it was intimidating. It still is intimidating and apparently, it is supposed to be that way.
I have a very distinct memory of a discussion I had with my Educational Foundations professor back at Columbus State University during my first attempt at my education degree. During this conversation I expressed my feelings of intimidation and their basis in fears of somehow doing more harm than good for my students. My professor replied with a big grin on his face and said that all the best teachers have that fear. He said that particular fear is what helps them make good choices and truly enrich the lives of their students.
With that memory playing on a near constant loop in my head today and after organizing my materials for tomorrow, there is only one more thing to do... get a good night's rest.
In an effort to do just that as well as calm myself down a bit, I've decided to add more structure to my evening routine. Just before bedtime I am going to set aside at least 30 minutes to have a hot cup of tea and read a chapter of whatever book I happen to be reading. Not a textbook or lesson plans, a book just for fun. This way I can clear my head and relax.
I have a feeling that will be important as I face down my fears over the next few semesters.