Thursday, May 23, 2013

slightly unsettling

I have noticed one issue with the new place that might prove to be a real problem. There is a beautiful mature Oak tree right in front of our home and several mature Oak trees throughout our neighborhood.

Normally this would be a good thing. Mature tree are awesome and they keep our house in the shade a good portion of the day. The problem with these Oak trees in particular are the little friends the Oak trees attract.

I'm talking about squirrels.

I am terrified of squirrels.

I realize this is a ridiculous thing to be afraid of, but really, I hate them. Not in an "I hope you die" kind of way... more of a "put down the crack and get some help so you don't eat my face" kind of way.

When I was in school at Columbus State I read an article about drug dealers in suburban areas hiding crack rocks in garden beds when they were trying to make a speedy getaway. Then, squirrels would dig up the crack rocks and eat them, thinking they were the nuts they buried. The squirrel would then get addicted to crack and attack people looking for their next fix.

This story is completely silly and, in all likelihood, entirely untrue. However, my brain latched onto that concept of drugged up squirrels attacking people and my fear was born. However irrational it may be.

The drinking in college did not help this fear.

Between the squirrels in the front yard and the giant green spider by the trash can, going outside here is rough on my nerves. I should get bonus points in life for going running around here!

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