On the show "Biggest Loser" they discuss how contestants have to face what got them to the point they are at before they can truly move forward. They can lose every pound of their goal but if they don't face their demons they will put it right back on.
The point where you have to deal with it comes at different times for different people and it isn't just limited to people on the show. Its becoming clear to me that this is something everyone has to go through on their journey towards being a healthy and happy person.
Apparently my day to deal with this is today. It became obvious when I burst into tears on the treadmill before I started my last 3 minute run. The lady on the treadmill next to me was a little freaked out.
I don't have time right now to go into it all but I promise to update later when I do. This blog has turned into a great outlet for my feelings and a support system I really need. I know I am going to need all of your support today of all days. Until then, enjoy the song of the day: Fences by Paramore. *please note, this video was the best I could find and was not created by the band*
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
nobody gonna break my stride... not even me
I'm very easiloy discouraged. I'm the kind of person that when the going gets tough I pretty much pout and stamp my foot.
This is the reason why today was so incredibly hard. Today is my day off after working the weekend (and missing the super bowl) so all I really wanted to do was lay around and take it easy. The thought of running made me cringe because all I could think about was Saturday morning and not being able to finish the workout.
I convinced myself to get out and get to the treadmill though after reminding myself that this isn't abotu finishing the program, it's not about a 5K in April, it's not about other people or any event... it's about me and my body and making myself stronger and healthier.
After some internal debate I decided that repeating week 3 would be in my best interest. Since so much of this is a mental thing I figured giving myself this week to remember that I got this far would be a good reserve to draw on when I do try and move on.
As if to prove a point, my body started screaming at me around half way through. It was as if I had taken a whole week off from running. I honestly had to push through as if this was my first time doing week 3. There were a few good songs today but Emergency by Paramore was by far the most helpful.
All in all I have come to the conclusion that this program is not for the faint of heart or those lacking in determination. I imagine that this is not going to be the first timme where I want to quit but hopefully I can keep my focus and keep moving. A big thank you to everyone who encouraged me this weekend/week. It really helps to knwo I've got such great support behind me.
This is the reason why today was so incredibly hard. Today is my day off after working the weekend (and missing the super bowl) so all I really wanted to do was lay around and take it easy. The thought of running made me cringe because all I could think about was Saturday morning and not being able to finish the workout.
I convinced myself to get out and get to the treadmill though after reminding myself that this isn't abotu finishing the program, it's not about a 5K in April, it's not about other people or any event... it's about me and my body and making myself stronger and healthier.
After some internal debate I decided that repeating week 3 would be in my best interest. Since so much of this is a mental thing I figured giving myself this week to remember that I got this far would be a good reserve to draw on when I do try and move on.
As if to prove a point, my body started screaming at me around half way through. It was as if I had taken a whole week off from running. I honestly had to push through as if this was my first time doing week 3. There were a few good songs today but Emergency by Paramore was by far the most helpful.
All in all I have come to the conclusion that this program is not for the faint of heart or those lacking in determination. I imagine that this is not going to be the first timme where I want to quit but hopefully I can keep my focus and keep moving. A big thank you to everyone who encouraged me this weekend/week. It really helps to knwo I've got such great support behind me.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
I'm not calling it failure because I learned something
This morning was the start of week 4 in the couch to 5k program. I've been nervous about this week for a while because of the interval durations and the amount of running required but I decided to, at the very least, attempt day one and see how I felt before thinking about repeating week 3.
Pretty much all of the roadblocks I have come up against during this program have been mental. I doubted myself but pushed through and physically proved myself wrong. A lot fo the people I knwo who run and have done this program have said that so many times the fears and hangups about distance running are all in your head.
This morning I ran into my first physical barrier. I wasn't able to finish the workout. My body simply could not do what I was trying to make it do. I did manage to make it more than halfway through (incuding the full 5 and two 3 minute running intervals) though so that leads me to believe that I CAN do it, just not today.
It's no secret that this week was full of fail. I did get myself back on track but there was some serious trash going into my system this week. Last night Steve and I even ordered pizza and wings. Why I thought it would be okay to eat all of that junk 12 hours before I planned on doing a big workout where I needed to push, heck if I know. I blame it on feeling cocky about my success the last few weeks.
The scale doesn't lie either. My weekly weigh in showed a two pound gain. It could be muscle... or it could be pizza, wings, rootbeer floats etc. The world may never know. What I DO know now though is that if I want my body to perform well I have to give it good fuel. That being said, my goal for this week is to be more mindful of what I am eating and give my body the nutrients and fuel it needs to meet the goals I've set.
Monday is my next running day and as of right now I'm not planning on backing down from the week 4 challenge. I know I can do this with the right preparation.
Pretty much all of the roadblocks I have come up against during this program have been mental. I doubted myself but pushed through and physically proved myself wrong. A lot fo the people I knwo who run and have done this program have said that so many times the fears and hangups about distance running are all in your head.
This morning I ran into my first physical barrier. I wasn't able to finish the workout. My body simply could not do what I was trying to make it do. I did manage to make it more than halfway through (incuding the full 5 and two 3 minute running intervals) though so that leads me to believe that I CAN do it, just not today.
It's no secret that this week was full of fail. I did get myself back on track but there was some serious trash going into my system this week. Last night Steve and I even ordered pizza and wings. Why I thought it would be okay to eat all of that junk 12 hours before I planned on doing a big workout where I needed to push, heck if I know. I blame it on feeling cocky about my success the last few weeks.
The scale doesn't lie either. My weekly weigh in showed a two pound gain. It could be muscle... or it could be pizza, wings, rootbeer floats etc. The world may never know. What I DO know now though is that if I want my body to perform well I have to give it good fuel. That being said, my goal for this week is to be more mindful of what I am eating and give my body the nutrients and fuel it needs to meet the goals I've set.
Monday is my next running day and as of right now I'm not planning on backing down from the week 4 challenge. I know I can do this with the right preparation.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Friday randomness
It's friday again and I find myself in a really good mood despite the fact that I have to work tomorrow and Sunday.
Today while I was eating lunch I had a sort of epiphany. As this blog has outlined, I am in the beginning/ middle stages of a lifestyle remodel complete with daily fruit/veggie consumption and excercise. As I ate my sandwich topped with all kinds of veggies and drank from my big 'ole water bottle I realized that I was really enjooying my meal. I wasn't disappointed that subway only put a "tiny" bit of meat and cheese on the sandwich... I was glad because that meant there was plenty of room for the incredibly flavorful veggies!
I'm not saying that I don't still crave macaroni and cheese or big fat slices of chocolate cake.... that would be a lie. What I am saying is that I'm no longer anti-veggie or anti-fresh fruit. I'm not feeling punished or deprived by eating good-for-me foods and that makes me smile.
I've gotten some good recommendations and advice from the ladies on thenest.com's health and fitness board about more things to try. But more about that later.
I'll leave you all with my weekly reason why my husband rocks:
Last weekend we went shopping and what did I come home with? That's right, Steve got me a Coach bag. When your husband makes room in the budget to suprise you with a super cute designer handbag he pretty much rocks. :) And it doesn't hurt that he also surpassed the three month non-smoking mark this week too. He just rocks all around!
Today while I was eating lunch I had a sort of epiphany. As this blog has outlined, I am in the beginning/ middle stages of a lifestyle remodel complete with daily fruit/veggie consumption and excercise. As I ate my sandwich topped with all kinds of veggies and drank from my big 'ole water bottle I realized that I was really enjooying my meal. I wasn't disappointed that subway only put a "tiny" bit of meat and cheese on the sandwich... I was glad because that meant there was plenty of room for the incredibly flavorful veggies!
I'm not saying that I don't still crave macaroni and cheese or big fat slices of chocolate cake.... that would be a lie. What I am saying is that I'm no longer anti-veggie or anti-fresh fruit. I'm not feeling punished or deprived by eating good-for-me foods and that makes me smile.
I've gotten some good recommendations and advice from the ladies on thenest.com's health and fitness board about more things to try. But more about that later.
I'll leave you all with my weekly reason why my husband rocks:
Last weekend we went shopping and what did I come home with? That's right, Steve got me a Coach bag. When your husband makes room in the budget to suprise you with a super cute designer handbag he pretty much rocks. :) And it doesn't hurt that he also surpassed the three month non-smoking mark this week too. He just rocks all around!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
success
While browsing a little this morning after my run I found these little gems:
"Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory." Ghandi
"All great masters are chiefly distinguished by the power of adding a second, a third, and perhaps a fourth step in a continuous line. Many a man has taken the first step. With every additional step you enhance immensely the value of your first." Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill
After such a rough week I found these words really hit home. I hope that by sharing them you will get something out of them as well.
I did make up my run from yesterday this morning. It went well. I managed to increase my speed from the 4.5 setting to the 5.0 setting and make it through the whole workout. Another personal victory was the fact that I completed the workout while someone else was in the gym. I get really self concious when I work out around other people... especially if they are already in shape. It's dumb because the whole point of going to the gym is to better yourself and get healthy, but I always feel like I'm getting the side eye and being judged by other people when I work out.
Today I managed to stay focused and make it through though so I'm proud of myself. Lose my Breath by Destiny's Child definitely keeps it's place in the playlist favorites too. It came on during the last 3 minute run and the lyrics almost sounded like a challenge. "All that talk but it seems that you can't come through". Yeah... it definitely helped me push.
Today was the last of week three. Now I'm trying to mentally prepare for week four and the five minute runs.
"Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph; a beginning, a struggle and a victory." Ghandi
"All great masters are chiefly distinguished by the power of adding a second, a third, and perhaps a fourth step in a continuous line. Many a man has taken the first step. With every additional step you enhance immensely the value of your first." Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill
After such a rough week I found these words really hit home. I hope that by sharing them you will get something out of them as well.
I did make up my run from yesterday this morning. It went well. I managed to increase my speed from the 4.5 setting to the 5.0 setting and make it through the whole workout. Another personal victory was the fact that I completed the workout while someone else was in the gym. I get really self concious when I work out around other people... especially if they are already in shape. It's dumb because the whole point of going to the gym is to better yourself and get healthy, but I always feel like I'm getting the side eye and being judged by other people when I work out.
Today I managed to stay focused and make it through though so I'm proud of myself. Lose my Breath by Destiny's Child definitely keeps it's place in the playlist favorites too. It came on during the last 3 minute run and the lyrics almost sounded like a challenge. "All that talk but it seems that you can't come through". Yeah... it definitely helped me push.
Today was the last of week three. Now I'm trying to mentally prepare for week four and the five minute runs.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
confessions and a day of rest
Today I planned to complete week 3, day 3 of the couch to 5k program. Notice I said planned to.
I didn't make it to the gym this morning for a few reasons. I promised myself that I would keep this blog honest and share both the ups and downs of my training so please prepare yourself for one of the downs.
Yesterday was just a huge ball of FAIL. So many things happened and I got so angry and upset that I came home with my first ever migraine. I was upset enough that I didn't think things through and ended up binge eating. I made tacos for dinner (instead of healthy Greek chicken as planned) and I ate an entire plate loaded with tortilla chips, meat, cheese and salsa. Then I used groundhogs day as an excuse to have a huge root beer float.
All of these things in moderation would have been fine but I definitely did not have them in moderation last night.
In case anyone is wondering, when you spend three weeks eating healthy cutting out a lot of fat, grease and sugars then you go on a binge like that your body pretty much hates you. It can't handle the extra junk.
I went to bed feeling gross and woke up feeling downright sick. My legs were also hurting for some reason as well and I was exhausted. The snooze button won and I skipped the gym.
Now, I may be down, but I am certainly not out. If there is one thing I have learned it's that Scarlett O'Hara was right, "tomorrow is another day". I see where I made my poor choices and I am working today to get myself back on track. A lot of water, plenty of fresh fruits and veggies and some protein will get me back to 100% by the end of the day so that tomorrow morning I can jump right back in where I left off.
I don't work until 1pm tomorrow so I'll have the ability to take it easy after I finish in the gym with week 3. Friday is my usual rest day so this little stumble isn't going to mess with my schedule very mcuh at all. Saturday I begin week 4 and those 5 minute runs!
I didn't make it to the gym this morning for a few reasons. I promised myself that I would keep this blog honest and share both the ups and downs of my training so please prepare yourself for one of the downs.
Yesterday was just a huge ball of FAIL. So many things happened and I got so angry and upset that I came home with my first ever migraine. I was upset enough that I didn't think things through and ended up binge eating. I made tacos for dinner (instead of healthy Greek chicken as planned) and I ate an entire plate loaded with tortilla chips, meat, cheese and salsa. Then I used groundhogs day as an excuse to have a huge root beer float.
All of these things in moderation would have been fine but I definitely did not have them in moderation last night.
In case anyone is wondering, when you spend three weeks eating healthy cutting out a lot of fat, grease and sugars then you go on a binge like that your body pretty much hates you. It can't handle the extra junk.
I went to bed feeling gross and woke up feeling downright sick. My legs were also hurting for some reason as well and I was exhausted. The snooze button won and I skipped the gym.
Now, I may be down, but I am certainly not out. If there is one thing I have learned it's that Scarlett O'Hara was right, "tomorrow is another day". I see where I made my poor choices and I am working today to get myself back on track. A lot of water, plenty of fresh fruits and veggies and some protein will get me back to 100% by the end of the day so that tomorrow morning I can jump right back in where I left off.
I don't work until 1pm tomorrow so I'll have the ability to take it easy after I finish in the gym with week 3. Friday is my usual rest day so this little stumble isn't going to mess with my schedule very mcuh at all. Saturday I begin week 4 and those 5 minute runs!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Thank you Flo Rider
for having the ONLY song on my work out playlist that I could actually stand to listen to this morning. Seriously, no matter what I did I could not find any other song to get me through those 3 minutes of running. Apparently "Oh hot damn, this is my jam" is literally my jam.
This week should be interesting since I am working this weekend. That's right kids... no weekend for me. I get two comp days next week to make up for it but everyone knows that having the day off during the week is not the same as a real weekend.
I'll deal though because the weekend of Valentine's day Steve and I are headed to Columbus to see all our friends! Sooo freaking excited. Also, while we are there, I am going to try running outside for the first time in Lake Bottom park. I used to see people running there all the time and I wished I was a runner so I could say "I'm headed to the park for a quick run". Who knew I would have to move away to finally get off my butt and do it?
Anyway... I hope everyone had a great weekend and is ready for the week ahead. I certainly am.
This week should be interesting since I am working this weekend. That's right kids... no weekend for me. I get two comp days next week to make up for it but everyone knows that having the day off during the week is not the same as a real weekend.
I'll deal though because the weekend of Valentine's day Steve and I are headed to Columbus to see all our friends! Sooo freaking excited. Also, while we are there, I am going to try running outside for the first time in Lake Bottom park. I used to see people running there all the time and I wished I was a runner so I could say "I'm headed to the park for a quick run". Who knew I would have to move away to finally get off my butt and do it?
Anyway... I hope everyone had a great weekend and is ready for the week ahead. I certainly am.
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